Joshua

As Lead Medical Officer, You Will Carry Out the Sentence

2014-07-11T05:26:12Z

With Anna's bliss still ringing in his ears, Joshua blinked and found himself back on Tabula Rasa. It was over. If he weren't so tired from it all - traumatized by what had happened, he would have run up to the main compound to make sure Cam was back as well. He wondered how long they'd been gone. There was a pang in his heart that Wanderer might have thought he had disappeared.

A hot meal sounded really good. He couldn't remember how long it had been since he'd eaten last. However, the idea of being around other people was unbearable. He'd killed David again. Not only had he allowed things to progress on that day as they had previously, but he'd accepted Anna's bliss again.

He wanted to go back to his hut in New Atlantis. He wanted to find Cam and Wanderer and make sure they were both ok. He wanted to eat something. He wanted some sleep. But he couldn't move in either direction. He couldn't make a decision on where to go.

He stood on the path completely immobilized. A look of concern and sadness on his face. He closed his eyes wanting to will away the memories, but finding himself bombarded by them instead. He could see David lying there. Hear David telling him that he had to skin him because he was the best hope for the resistance. Then there was screaming and so much blood.

comments

My Death Will Be Meaningless If You Fail Now

2014-07-09T20:57:32Z

It had been days, a week definitely more of the same day repeating. After the first failed attempt, Joshua had tried several other strategies. None had been successful. And after his own death, the day would start again with him standing in that hallway where he should have gone to gather the medical staff so Anna could intimidate them. He was beginning to think that no matter what he did, the day would start over. That he and Cam would be stuck in this never-ending cycle of hell that had once been his life forever.

On one day, several attempts into the cycle of repeating, Joshua had been so frustrated that he had gone directly back to Anna and confessed. Unsurprisingly, his punishment had been to be skinned alive. It had been an excruciating experience. Almost worse than the pain was looking into the empty eyes of the V who inflicted the pain without feeling any emotions.

He had been skinned now more times than he ever wanted to remember. Once had been more than enough, but it hadn't been the end.

Early on in the cycle, he had allowed the day to proceed and tried to beat David to stepping out in front of Anna. He had to stop anyone else from dying for him or with him. That day had ended with David being assigned the one to skin Joshua alive and Camille being assigned as an assistant. Only she and Joshua seemed to retain any memories from the previous attempt, but it was coincidences like those that made him wonder. There had just been something about David's attitude that made Anna suspect him. However, instead of skinning him, David had given Joshua an immolation pill as he took one himself. They had died, burning alive and turning into ash after announcing "Long live the Fifth Column."

He had spent a day answering Camille's questions and brainstorming possible plans. They'd hid out for as long as they could, but eventually they were found.

There had been a few days where they tried to steal a shuttle, but every time, no matter when or how they stole it, they were always shot down or stopped before they even got away. They had tried several times to leave the ship as they had tried on the first day with the same ending every time: they were discovered. It wasn't always a guard that recognized them. Sometimes one of the medical staff would call out for one of them.

He was so exhausted, mentally and physically. It wasn't an entire day so he couldn't think of something in his quarters. It always started right after Anna dismissed them after telling them to gather the medical staff again. With David jogging to catch up to Joshua. And it always ended with one or both or all of them dead.

His body ached from the memory of injuries to come.

"You have to get off the ship," David said to Joshua as he caught up with him.

"I'm not running," Joshua said, letting the exhaustion he felt into his voice.

"You're too important. The Column needs you," David continued in the same way he always said it. He walked ahead of Joshua again so as not to draw suspicious eyes to their conversation.

"You'll carry on and so will the others," Joshua replied, repeating the words he was expected to say, but putting very little effort into it.

"No, you cannot be sacrificed," David countered. "No matter what." Turning to face Joshua and point a finger at him to emphasize the faith he had in his own belief of Joshua's importance, David continued "I won't let it happen." David turned quickly and was halfway down the hallway by the time Joshua looked up. His eyes darted around to find Camille. Though he knew he needed to hurry, he was tired of this repetition and the feeling that it would never end.

comments

You Have To Do This...

2014-07-04T01:35:50Z

It had happened. Joshua had been sent back to the New York Mothership to rejoin the Fifth Column Resistance. Only this time was different. He remembered his time on Tabula Rasa. The last thing he remembered was finishing up his clinic shift at the Southern Clinic and heading to the compound for a warm meal. He had been looking forward to seeing Wanderer and finding out about her day. There was a lot of things he had been looking forward to doing with Wanderer that would never be now.

"If you keep up with that look, you'll be found out before this is all over." A chill ran down Joshua's spine upon hearing the voice and as he turned his head to the left, he saw David. Living and breathing David looking very serious, stern even.

Before Joshua could answer, David continued with what he had to say. "You have to get off the ship."

The phrase hit him hard. He knew what he was supposed to say. I'm not running. Only he couldn't find his voice to say them. If they were having this conversation, it meant that today was David's last. Soon Joshua would be standing over him, skinning him until he took his last breath.

"You're too important. The Column needs you," David continued just as if Joshua had spoken the words. He walked ahead of Joshua so as not to draw suspicious eyes to their conversation.

"You'll carry on and so will the others." The first time, it had come out forcefully, angry even, angry with David for suggesting what he was suggesting. Now, it was a barely audible whisper. He felt sick just as he knew he would feel later in the day if it continued on its current path.

"No, you cannot be sacrificed," David countered. "No matter what." Turning to face Joshua and point a finger at him to emphasize the faith he had in his own belief of Joshua's importance, he started "I won't let it..." But when he turned and saw Joshua's face, his own softened a little. "What's the matter, Joshua? You're better at hiding your emotions than this." He was whispering as his eyes darted around looking for anyone watching them. This was a very dangerous time for the Fifth Column. More importantly, he didn't want anyone to suspect Joshua of anything. As far as David was concerned, he would do anything to protect Joshua. Joshua was in Anna's inner circle, one of her most trusted advisors. He knew things that would help the Fifth Column turn the tides and win.

Before Joshua could say or do anything, David had run off either scared by an interested eye or convinced of his plan. He probably wasn't even sure what he would do exactly just that he was right and Joshua would be preserved. Joshua, however, knew exactly what was going to happen.

Instead of gathering the other medical staff, Joshua hurried after David.

comments

bliss_immunity @ 2014-05-06T23:32:00

2014-05-07T03:57:09Z

The announcement had found Joshua in his hut in New Atlantis. It was nearly a week back and things were starting to feel ... Not quite normal. Normal was life on the Mother Ship and had been actually very uncomfortable especially with the emotions that had come with all of his memories. No, things were actually starting to feel relaxed. Just a tiny bit. Certainly not to the point of Joshua kicking back with a sugary drink with a tiny umbrella, feet up, soaking in the sun and living a vacation life. He might never get to that point. But he was starting to feel more like himself. The self from his memories who felt emotions and was free from Anna.

Nearly a week and it was still so difficult to shake that feeling that she was watching or that worry that she might discover his secret. Nearly a week and he was just now starting to feel safe. And maybe safe was going to too far. He was mostly feeling anonymous. Lost in the crowd. He might disappear at any moment. Or one of Anna's soldiers could turn up and have it out for him. But, he had the upper hand. And while he might still meet his fate on Tabula Rasa, he would go down fighting.

So the announcement about angels--a threat that wasn't Anna--snapped him out of that circle of thinking. The truth was that he needed something to do. He needed to focus on something other than his own situation. It had helped when he was Fifth Column and even the last time he was on Tabula Rasa. He needed to get busy living again. Sitting around waiting for something to happen was a terrible plan.

He'd left his hut to best hear what the Doctor was saying. Joshua wondered for a moment which doctor and if he knew him from his previous time. Weeping angels and don't blink. It didn't make sense, but that was the nature of the island. Feeling the same sense of duty he had often felt on the island, he headed to the main clinic. If there was a threat, there was the possibility of injuries. And at the very least, perhaps he could speak with someone about starting back up a rotation.

***

Saturday at the clinic had been fairly quiet despite the threat of weeping angels, but it had been an excellent reminder to Joshua. He was Chief Medical Officer back home for a reason. And while he had done horrible things under Anna, it was where his passion lay. By Sunday morning, he'd made up his mind to officially sign up again for clinic hours.

As he headed in the direction of the compound, he noticed a lightly colored object about the size of a person that he didn't remember being there before. He took his eyes off of it for a moment as he continued down the path. When he looked back in its direction, he swore it was closer than it had been. He could make out wings and arms. His brow furrrowed and he looked away and around the path to see if anyone else had noticed the object--what appeared to be an angel statue as he got closer. He was alone on the path. Returning his gaze back to the statue, he stopped in his tracks and stood up straighter to get a better look. It had definitely moved, but that was crazy. And yet, it seemed to be reaching toward him with a menacing look on its face.

He wasn't sure how long he had been staring at the statue before he realized what he had been doing. Something about the eyes. They were irresistable. He hadn't wanted to look away from them. When he blinked again, the angel statue was gone. But he had an odd, unsettled feeling which he couldn't quite place or shake. Recalling the message which had prompted him to arrive in the clinic yesterday, he wondered if that statue had been the angels from the warning. He'd expected something more mobile. Something more menacing or more obviously ominous.

Finally shaking off the unsettled feeling he had, he continued to the Compound clinic. "Hello?" he asked. "Anyone working today?"

comments